A “memorial gift” is always in good taste, especially when the family had requested such a gift in lieu of flowers. It is nice to personalize your gift to the deceased, for example, by making a gift to his or her alma mater, or contributing to medical research for the disease they suffered. Or, the family can suggest a specific charity or other memorial fund, and if you need legal help with this, you can also use a New York wrongful death lawyer to get help with this.
The funeral home can provide you with the appropriate card to inform the family of your gift. You should also provide the family’s name and address to the charity so they can send proper notification. It is also acceptable to mention your gift in a note of condolence, without mentioning the monetary amount. You might say, “Because your father loved his church so much, we have made a gift to the Macedonia Missionary Baptist Church in his honor.”